A few weeks ago when I was at work, one of the nurses aides told me one of our residents wanted to see me. I went to her room and found her crying. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was upset because she wanted to go home. She said "I just want to go to my own home and no one will let me! I've asked everyone and I'm still here. I've cried out to the Lord and asked Him to let me go home and I'm still here. Why won't He answer me?"
My response to her was that He knows best and although this wasn't what she would like there is a reason for it.
In actuality, she won't be able to go home. She has dementia and is unable to live on her own. When she was in her home, she was leaving pans on the stove, with the burner on. She fell several times and isn't able to make proper decisions for herself.
To her, it feels like God doesn't care and isn't listening. In looking at the bigger picture, I can see that going home wouldn't be the right thing for her.
This made me think - how often do I pray for things, wondering why God doesn't appear to be answering? It's a good reminder that God knows all and when He doesn't answer the way we want, we have to remember that His way really is what is best for us.
My response to her was that He knows best and although this wasn't what she would like there is a reason for it.
In actuality, she won't be able to go home. She has dementia and is unable to live on her own. When she was in her home, she was leaving pans on the stove, with the burner on. She fell several times and isn't able to make proper decisions for herself.
To her, it feels like God doesn't care and isn't listening. In looking at the bigger picture, I can see that going home wouldn't be the right thing for her.
This made me think - how often do I pray for things, wondering why God doesn't appear to be answering? It's a good reminder that God knows all and when He doesn't answer the way we want, we have to remember that His way really is what is best for us.
30 comments:
So very true Mari! I would hate to think of my Mom begging to go home. Praise God she is still healthy and able to stay in her own home. I know there are so many people exactly like your patient though and it's so sad to think about it.
Hugs,
Kat
I've had some burdens on my heart this week, but I know God is still listening. I've actually been teaching/talking to my kids in 2nd grade Sunday school last week that sometimes God's answer is not the yes we want, but sometimes it is wait or even no. I've had to rely on that knowing that God knows what is best even when I don't always get it.
What a good way to look at what sometimes feels like we are fending for ourselves and God is not there.
There are certainly times in my live that I don't understand what God's plan is but I do know that He makes no mistakes, He always does what is best for me, and I need to realize He is GOD.
This made me sad, but I also understand having gone through it with my Mother. Fortunately God allowed me to keep her in her own home with the help of hospice, but it was still so hard.
God does always have a perfect plan for us, even if we don't see it at the moment. His love for us is never ending.
* loves *
So true!!
So sad to think about your dementia patient. I've had older relatives with dementia and it always just breaks my heart!
Jane
This story sounds so familiar! So glad that you were there to hear her story and validate her feelings and desires to go home. I just love when I ask the resident then to tell me about her home and her fond memories, she still recalls so much that is dear to her, despite her dementia!
God is listening,but his answer is something that we might not want to hear.Especially in the case of the lady,his answer to her is stay there you are safer.
Very true. Give her a big hug for me.
I think it was wonderful that she called for you, Mari. Sometimes we're Jesus with skin on to those around us, and I say that not in a casual way at all. I think the Lord sent you to hear her heart which is what we're supposed to do for each other. I pray that the Lord will continue to give you the right words of comfort to others. What a blessing to have someone like you on board. I know that's not the reason you posted this, but it just jumped out at me. It seems like He had you there for this one that He cares so much for.
We're not sure but are thinking that Danny's Mom may be showing signs of Dimentia, and this just kind of touched a tender place in my heart.
blessings, and thanks for being you to so many.
That is so true Mari. It is so hard sometimes to feel you are not being heard and I think it's human to wonder why. Poor woman. Even though it's best for her, that is still a hard situation. :(
I know there have been times when I didn't feel God cared because my prayers weren't being answered (the way I wanted at least) and even times when I have felt totally abandoned by God altogether but I really understood after a long, difficult journey that God had heard me all along and was busy answering my prayer to be a mother but just in a different way than I expected.
Beautiful post. Our God is so faithful.
Beautiful post Mari. It reminded me of my Granny. As you know, she's been with us for 5 months now but yesterday she was telling me she feels very sad because she wants to die and she thinks she is a burden to us. We talked about God's love and God's will and she felt a bit calmer after that.
Blessings
Oh, Mari. This is so true. It is very hard to accept that what we want is not always best for us. Great analogy.
Yes, God always answers our prayers. The answer may not come in the manner we want, but He never fails to provide the correct one.
Mari what a sad story of the poor lady. I know that God does not always give us the answers we want but he will never forget us.
You are such a sweet lady to have her call.
Have a great day.
I am so glad that God didn't answer all my prayers or I would have been in a mess. I heard Priscilla P. say the same thing. God knows what He wants to do with us. He has a plan. As Christians, we are not here to live our own lives, but to live out God's plans. Because she has dementia, you will probably have to talk to her again. You are there doing the Lord's work, Mari.
God bless you!
What a vivid lesson, Mari. That was for me.
Great lesson, Mari. so true.
My heart goes out to those residents who have dementia, who don't understand why they can't go home. So sad.
AMAZING post Mari. I truly believe everything you wrote is so true. Life is hard, but if we give it all to God, it isn't quite as hard.
Yes, yes, YES!!!
have you ever read "same kind of different as me"? in one part of the book (its a true story) God has to send a message through someone to tell them to stop praying for their friend's healing.
its a tough passage to read, thinking that by praying for her healing (instead of God's will) they were actually prolonging her suffering.
its a great book and i'd highly recommend it if you're a reader. (i listened to it on CD driving to and from work)
So glad you were there to listen and passed on the important lesson from this whole experience. God DOES hear even when it appears He isn't answering!
reading this made me sad. thank God that you are able to minister to her in her time of need. God is in control and I'm happy that you shared that with her.
Mari, in the last 3 years I have struggled with that often as my husband has survived 2 layoffs and a cancer diagnosis. But threw it all I've learned that God's ways are not my ways, and that (thankfully) there are new mercies every.single.morning, even if I've thrown a spiritual fit the night before. In all things, God is good. =)
And excuse my wrongful use of "threw" versus "through," too much texting lingo in my world, haha!
What a great post Mari! I needed to hear this today on so many different levels!
So, so true! Great post!
There is a great lesson in this post. This is my prayer this year that I listen for his guidance and believe hr knows what is best.
Wow! Nuf said!
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