Men are happier people

 I got this in an e-mail and thought it was too cute not to share.  Hope it gives you a laugh too!

 

*MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE* *NICKNAMES     * If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and           Sarah.     * If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy,        Godzilla and Four-eyes.   EATING OUT     * When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's          only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit        they want change back.     * When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.   MONEY    * A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.    * A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she  doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS   * A man has six items in his bathroom:  toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor,       a bar of soap, and a  towel .   * The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is       337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these        items. ARGUMENTS     * A woman has the last word in  any argument.     * Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE     * A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.     * A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS     * A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.     * A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE     * A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't..     * A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP    * A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the           phone, read a  book, and get the mail.    * A man will dress up for weddings and  funerals. NATURAL     * Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.     * Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING     * Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about  dentist                   appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and             dreams.     * A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY     A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering          the same thing!